When my oldest was born, my mom looked at me and said, “I know you don’t like TV right now, but there will come a time when you use it as a babysitter and I want you to know that it will be alright.” I think my mom knows me too well, and that she is actually much better at reverse psychology than I would have given her credit for all those years ago. The thing is, I really hate being told what I will do in the future, and I especially hate it when I am being told that I will do something against my beliefs. Over the dozen years since then, there have been times that I have been tempted to use the glowing babysitter, but my mom’s words play again in my head and my stubbornness kicks in.

So what’s a person to do? In case you’ve been living in a cave the last ten years, technology is everywhere. We lived in Germany for three years when the kids were little, and I will never forget being stunned by the change when we moved back. Commercials blared from kiosks in stores, TVs were suddenly in every restaurant, and even the McDonald’s play areas had added tablets to play. Just when I thought I had found a “tech free” waiting room, a parent came in and handed his kid his cell phone. I felt like the only person not using technology to get through the day. Since I could not hide in a cave (although some days that sounded like a lovely plan), I needed a strategy to deal with those times that the cultural pressure to give in to the glow called. Somewhere along the way, I read about the 15 minute rule.

What is the 15 minute rule? The name gives it away. The rule is that every time you feel like using technology as a stress band-aid, you wait 15 minutes. When the kids are screaming at each or whining about being bored, you look at a clock and start your mental timer. Give it 15 minutes and see what is going on then. 99% of the time, 15 minutes solves it. The yelling kids separate (with or without your prompting) and find something individual to do, and the whining, bored kids have generally found something new to do. In fact, the most creative play often kicks-off during these 15 minutes. Finally, even if none of those things occur, the 15 minutes is just long enough for you personally to reset and be ready to try again without a glowing babysitter.

(Side note: The creativity that occurs in this time is so fascinating to watch that I started celebrating with, or maybe “at” is a better preposition, my kids when they said they were bored. I would get this big grin and say, “Really!?! That’s great! I can’t wait to see what your imagination is going to come up with next.” Either it worked, or they found my celebrating just as annoying as I found their whining. Either way, comments about being bored are rarely ever heard in my house. Yelling at each other…that one we are still growing through.)

There are some catches with the 15 minute rule. It will only work if your kids don’t know about it and if you have not already been seen to cave when it comes to technology. In either of those situations, most kids will keep pushing for technology until they get what they want. If this is the situation you find yourself in, I recommend going cold-turkey. Cut out all technology for a week, or a month, or as long as you feel able, and then be ready to stick to your guns when you tell your children. They will push harder than they ever have, be strong. Give yourself time to reset as a family and find new solutions to those frustrated or bored moments. The conversations and creativity are worth the effort!