Anyone happen to be visiting Pearl Harbor on April 11th? Did you see the crazy lady sitting 20 feet from the check-in window and sobbing her eyes out?

Yes, yes. That was me.

On April 9th, the kids and I landed in Honolulu, and I officially stepped into my 50th state. (Please excuse the photo. We had been traveling all day.) We were amused at how hot it was even so late at night. It was great to meet up with our friends and head to their house for bed.

We spent April 10th sleeping in and meeting up with some of our Alaskan, military friends at the Hale Koa. It was exciting to put on shorts, see the sun, and swim!

Then we arrived at that fateful day. April 11th. The day I had booked 60 days previously. The day I was FINALLY going to see the Arizona Memorial. We walked up to the window to get our tickets and discovered a sign saying the boat was not stopping at the Memorial due to safety concerns. In my defense, I did not lose it with the man behind the counter. I sadly took our tickets, walked 20 feet away, and burst into tears. All I have ever wanted to do in Hawaii is visit the Memorial, and we had had to schedule so early to get tickets that I did not see how we could try for a different day. I knew same-day tickets were available, but everything I had read made it sound like you had to be there at oh-dark-thirty to get them.

So we went on the part of the tour that was available to us. We watched the movie. We took the boat out towards the Memorial, but we were unable to see anything through the choppy water. We got off the boat, and I spent a lot of time praying about my disappointment, my expectations, and whether I needed to be content with what I had received. I chose to be thankful for some great pictures (I particularly love the one of the four of us with the Memorial way off across the Harbor – how cool is that?) and for some unusual memories, and I tried to put a final seal on the event.

Then the next morning dawned, and I found myself wide awake. Wide awake at 0730 and arguing with God. He kept telling me to get out of bed and go to Pearl Harbor. I kept telling Him that there was no way it would work and that I needed to have the computer on at 0900 so the kids and I could watch the live streaming of the Jurisdiction’s Eucharist. He told me to go. I finally stopped arguing and got out of bed at 0739. The car left the driveway at 0742.

I had no idea what to expect when I got to the Harbor, but I definitely did not expect what occurred. The man at the window handed me a ticket for 0830. Still arguing with God about how that was going to make me very late for the service, I walked over to the tour line. The lady there remembered me from the day before and told me she had been hoping I would try again. She let me in with the 0815 tour. I watched the movie. I took the boat out. I FINALLY set foot on the Memorial. I walked in, took pictures, turned around, discovered the previous tour was still loading the boat, and I left with them. I was back in the parking lot by 0900 and home by 0915 where I joined the kids in watching an amazing ceremony.

All my plans. All my complaints. All the barriers I saw no way through.

But God…